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Fast forward a few months, and the family friend let it slip that the guy was just dumped by a girl he’d been dating for months.
He must have been dating her right when he got quiet with me.” -Chrissy O., 29Expert take: Many guys are okay with dates and sex, but when it comes to weekends away or spending time with other couples, those that have a fear of intimacy can act weird.
Her take: “I went out with a guy I met online who seemed really sweet and charming. A few days later, he texts me to say that he isn't looking for a girlfriend—just casual sex.
I felt cheated and hurt.” -Andrea C., 31Expert take: Even if a guy doesn’t say straight out in his profile that he’s only looking for hook-ups, some will offer hints.
Don’t assume someone is going to be committed unless you’ve talked about it.“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.If a guy gets everything up front, it’s quite possible his interest and that reward mechanism aren’t going to kick into gear,” Kerner explains.Expert take: A lot of guys have two categories of women they’re dating: the women they just want to have sex with and the women they’re interested in having long-term relationships with, Kerner says.
In this situation, Kate might have been giving too much too soon.You’re left wondering what went wrong and analyzing (and reanalyzing and reanalyzing) things with your friends. While we’ll never be able to fully understand guys (and we probably wouldn’t want to), you can learn from these moments.